Pro EFT Relationship Remedy: Is my relationship emotionally abusive?

Pro EFT practitioners can improve your relationships even if they are emotionally abusive. At first this may seem impossible. You may ask, “How can my overwhelming anger, heartbreak, and lack of  self confidence be helped? Especially when I need the other person to understand my feelings and begin treating me with respect.”

Pro EFT practitioners will not be able to eliminate your distress by controlling another person’s actions. We eliminate the cycle of emotional abuse by developing a  treatment plan that addresses what is really going wrong. By eliminating your distress you develop the emotional freedom to live the life you want to live. You become in control of what you do and how you feel.

Emotional abuse is all about denigrating the person. It is not about being upset with a behavior or result. The abuser feels bad so they try and make someone else feel bad. This is often done while using the cover of honesty. Active emotional abuse is excused by declaring that the person deserves the abuse. “I only said that because you deserved it” is one of the classic lines. The passive form involves withholding affection and appreciation. An example of this is “I’ll compliment you if you ever do anything worth complimenting.” These attacks are designed to humiliate, hurt, and control the person being attacked. When a cycle of emotional abuse has formed the attacker feels powerful, not ashamed. The result the abusive person most needs to see is the emotional pain their abuse is causing. The thrill of dominating the other person is the primary goal. For the neurobiology of aggression I suggest Robert Sapolsky’s lectures on this link.

The abused person wants desperately to make it all stop. The typical client comes in after having tried to second guess the abuser for years. The abuser’s brain gets a shot of pleasurable dopamine at the sight of the suffering so nothing can work to stop the abuse. Inflicting verbal aggression is it’s own reward. Every attempt to fix the problem gives the abuser the reward of domination and control. Every new issue gives the abuser an excuse to attack with derision and contempt. In short there is no action or inaction the client can do that the abuser will not find a way to belittle and criticize. The abuse issue is never resolved by the abused person changing their behavior to please the abuser.

People stay in abusive relationships because they crave feeling understood. They typically feel chronically misunderstood by others who try to get them to leave the abusive relationship.  They also invest enormous amounts of emotional energy trying to understand the person abusing them. Most often they feel they are the only person who really understands that person. The promise of feeling understood is so strong that the abuser need only put in short honeymoon time periods to keep the abused person hooked. Life becomes a roller coaster of  emotions that the abusive person controls.

There is hope. You can eliminate the abuse cycle from your life. The complex treatment plan for eliminating the cycle of abuse always involves tapping down the overwhelming emotions. These emotions are crippling. I use the Reprograming Our Universe tapping exercise for this. I borrowed  from the work of
Albert Ellis and Marcia Grad Powers to create this exercise.  Before I had the power of Pro EFT I used the technique successfully for years for inpatient and outpatient psychiatric patients to overcome their cycles of abuse.  With Pro EFT this technique is many times more powerful and long lasting.  It is not that you will never again feel upset or hurt.  Now you choose how you will feel in each situation. You become empowered enough to walk away from situations that feel bad and towards those that feel good. People have to start treating you better in order to have you around.

Finding the core issue that started this pattern is essential. Eliminating the ongoing emotional distress from your past empowers your to begin your new life. When each new situation is not tied to the pain of your past experiences each situation is now only about that situation. As  you master this stage you become truly free and independent.

When you have eliminated the negative emotional pain of the cycle of abuse Pro EFT practitioners have the Ultimate Truth Statement. This wonderful tool puts you back in the drivers seat of your own life. The Ultimate Truth Statement envisions and then puts in place your new loved, confident, and appreciated life. When you feel this way as your baseline emotional state you will begin creating the life filled with loving and confidence building situations where others really appreciate you.

Working through these issues can be scary. It requires courage and persistence. Luckily anyone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship has developed enormous amounts of these skills already. At the Pro EFT Center your courage and persistence can now give you the life you were meant to live. More often than not your current relationships will improve dramatically. At the same time you will find yourself surrounded by people who really appreciate who you are and what you do. Contact me today to begin your new life with you in charge of how you feel.